Life Of An Autism Mum
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When my son was diagnosed with Autism at age 3, I had no idea what I was doing.
It was hard. It was overwhelming.
I wasn’t sure how to deal with his behaviours. We weren’t getting any sleep. He wasn’t eating well. We were in the thick of it.
I was trying to reconcile the unknown, worries, fears, the future, a family, and the reality of the present.
It was too much when combined with all of the regular daily life stuff like taking care of house cleaning and errands. And at the midst of it all having other babies.
When I think back, I now know that we were in survival mode,and as tough as it might get we have no option but to hang on and keep hoping for a better way.
Even today, we go in and out of survival mode.
But, things are different because of what I’ve learned over the years about taking care of myself. I wish I had learned these things sooner.
I ignored all the talk about self-care when Mohammed was diagnosed. I had no time to think about myself as I processed his diagnosis. There was no breathing room in our chaos.
How can you make time for yourself when your child was constantly screaming, hard for him to sit down and could not even process the world around him or even recognize you as his mum.But, there were little things that I could have done to make things better.
I fell into a spiral of blaming my self constantly. I became more worried abt my child and also the little other humans I was bringing in to the world as well. Questions like what if my other kids regressed again close to age 3? My second child got lots of pressure and faces lots of obstacles as well. The only word planted in my head then was just Autism.
I started feeling alone and locked myself in a world where I think no one else understands me or what am going thru. Nothing interest me anymore. It became more difficult day in and day out.
Finding an interest outside of your child’s diagnosis. I love to watch Netflix and nollywood movies. In my quiet time like driving to the store or work I play my gospel songs and I became so addicted to those songs. And eventually my faith got so strong.
Finally reality kicks in and I realize that I needed me again. So much of my time is dedicated to my son’s care, and my other kids. It’s nice to have interests that don’t involve autism or his cecostomy. It’s healthy not to spend all my time researching tools, approaches and treatments.
It’s so important to find friends who understand raising a child with a disability and complex medical needs. It can be very isolating and difficult to physically attend play dates or meets ups with friends. I have found so many wonderful friends online who have been such a great support to me. There are no expectations and you don’t have to leave your house.
Remind yourself that you are human and that you are doing a good job. Social media is very one sided so don’t compare yourself to others or think they have it all together. Don’t wait for praise from others to validate yourself.
No matter where you are on this journey-whether your just starting out or years in-you must be kind and forgiving to yourself. No one is perfect and no one has it all together.
You will never speak to anyone more than you speak to yourself so make those words kind, encouraging and supportive.
Autism is lifelong journey. There is no competition. It is not a race, it is a journey so take care of yourself!
Life Of An Autism Mum And don’t forget to be kind along the way.