Blame It On The Pain Episode 13
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🧏 Blame It On The Pain Episode Thirteen:
To my astonishment, Alyssa stayed true to her word and ended up going out to lunch with me.
Since I let her pick the place, we’re currently sitting at some hole in the wall diner…seated in a corner booth in the far back.
She looks around the restaurant before she tugs her sunglasses off her face and sticks them in her purse.
I can’t help but wonder why she’s even wearing them in the first place…given that it’s raining out and all.
“Being in public bothers you,” I say, making it a statement and not a question.
She folds her hands in front of her before she looks me right in the eye. “How long are you going to go on pretending, Jackson?”
I tilt my head to the side. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I really wish you would just tell me, though.”
She studies my face for a few moments. “Tell me, Jackson. Do you have a computer?”
I take a sip of my drink. “Yeah, why?”
“Do you watch porn on your computer?”
I nearly choke on my drink. That was certainly the last thing I was expecting to come out of her mouth. I open my mouth to say something, but luckily, the waitress comes to our table to take our order.
After she’s gone, I decide to attempt to break up the now awkward silence between us. “So, you’re a porn star. That’s the big secret?”
She shoots me an icy cold stare. “Not by choice,” she mumbles.
“I don’t understand,” I say, my confusion growing with every moment that passes between us.
She rubs her temples. “Fine. You really want to know me, Jackson? You really want to know everything?”
“Yes. I won’t judge you, I promise.”
She leans back against the booth. “I went to NYU a few years ago. If you can believe it, I was on track to become a newscaster. It was my dream, ever since I was a little girl.” She closes her eyes for a second before she clears her throat and continues. “Anyway, I was a year away from graduating when my mother decided to get remarried. She ended up marrying a Politician. You’ve probably heard of him before, John Travine.”
The name mildly rings a bell. “Yeah, I’ve heard of him. I don’t remember what he ran for, but the name sounds familiar.”
“He ran for mayor of New York City 3 years ago,” she tells me.
“So, what happened at NYU?”
She looks down nervously before she begins. “Well, like I said. My mother ended up marrying that piece of shit politician.” Her jaw hardens and her entire body becomes rigid. “I hate him, Jackson. The way he exploited my family’s tragedy in front of the media. The way he turned my own mother against me. He could drop dead tomorrow, and I honestly don’t think I would be able to feel one ounce of sympathy for him.”
I reach across the table for her hand. “Family tragedy?”
She pulls back her hand with abrupt force, like my hand is made of lava and I’m about to singe her. There’s so much pain in her eyes it almost hurts to look at her. “I can’t talk about that. Please.”
“I won’t force you to tell me anything you don’t want to, Alyssa.”
She pinches the bridge of her nose. “I was doing really well at NYU. I maintained a 4.0 and everything. I was focused on my goals and kept myself out of trouble. Anyway, my stepfather ran for mayor and my mother and I were thrust into the political spotlight and all that comes with it. Like I said, he exploited my family, he used my mother, and…” She pauses and looks at me. “Just trust me when I say that he’s not a good guy, Jackson.”
Her expression is filled with so much sorrow, it practically sears me straight to the bone.
“I believe you,” I tell her.
She gives me a small smile that fades just as quickly as it appears.
“I wanted to get back at him. It was so unbelievably fked up, but I decided to do something ho..rrible. Something that I knew would piss him off when he found out. Looking back it was absolutely stupid, and it ended up backfiring big time.” She shrugs. “But I had just turned 21 at the time and I was still naive in regards to certain things. Not that it excuses what I did, but…”
I lean forward, my curiosity coming to a peak. “What did you do?”
“Well, my roommate was dating Dean Gaffney, Jr at the time,” she starts to say before I interrupted her
“Wait a minute. You don’t mean Mayor Gaffney’s son, do you?”
“Yes. That’s exactly who I’m referring to.”
I know whatever she’s about to tell me is going to be bad, real bad.
“Fk, Alyssa. What happened?”
“I decided that I was going to flirt with him. Maybe even hook up with him. I wanted it to get back to my stepdad. And I thought- what better way to make him upset than having him hear that I was involved with his opponents son.” Her eyes become glassy. “I know I broke the girl code. I know, I’m the worst kind of female in the world, but I just wanted to make him angry. I didn’t care about the repercussions at the time. I wasn’t thinking straight, Jackson. I just wanted him out of our lives. I wanted him to leave my mother and me alone and find another family to terrorize.”
“No judgment here, Alyssa. We’ve all done things we never thought we would in the heat of the moment.”
Like mur..dering your best friend for ki lling your sister.
“So, one night—he showed up at my dorm room. Melody, my roommate wasn’t there at the time. She was busy with her study group. He asked me if I wanted to grab dinner. I thought it was the perfect opportunity. During dinner he said all the right things…and we bonded over our mutual dislike of my stepdad. He also thought it was disgusting how he was using what happened to my fath…” she starts to say before she stops herself.
“Anyway, after dinner, we went back to his dorm. His roommate was out for the evening. We had a few drinks and…”
That’s when I decide to stop her. “So he got you drunk?”
She shakes her head. “No. I mean, not exactly. It’s hard to explain. I was somewhere between being buzzed but not drunk. It was just enough alcohol to lower my inhibitions, but not to the point where I didn’t know what I was doing.”
Sht. I really hate where this story’s going, but I can’t bring myself to stop her.
“So, one thing led to another and we started hooking up.” She squeezes her eyes shut. “I was still a vrgn, Jackson.”
I swallow against the lump forming in my throat. “Did he rappe you?”
“No.” She takes a deep breath. “He only filmed me having sx without my knowledge and put it out on the internet for the whole entire world to see.”
She scrunches up her nose. “The best part was when Melody burst into the room at the exact moment I lost my vrgnty. I’ll never forget what she said. ‘Alyssa, you sIut.’ Which is conveniently the name of the video.”
“I’m so sorry, Alyssa.”
She shrugs. “Don’t be. I only did it to myself. I deserved it. I broke the girl code and hooked up with my roommate’s boyfriend. I hurt my mother to the point where she disowns me.” She snorts. ” The only good thing that came out of it was that my stepdad ended up losing the election…most likely because of me. Besides, milking my family’s tragedy…his campaign was built around promoting abstinence for the youth and other Christian family values. Needless to say, my sx tape made quite a mockery of his entire campaign.”
Dmn.
“I can’t believe your mom disowned you after that, though. That’s ho…rrible.”
“Yeah, well my stepdad didn’t really give her much of a choice. After he lost, they moved someplace down south. He became mayor of a really small town down there. She’s obviously happy, so again…it is what it is.”
“Why didn’t you press charges against him?” I ask.
She bites her lip. “I couldn’t afford a lawyer. My stepfather’s campaign was going down the tubes at that point and he was pissed. He refused to help me in any way. Besides, apparently there’s some kind of law in New York that basically states that as long as one party knows about it being filmed it’s not illegal. And just to cover his tracks, Dean also told authorities that I knew we were filming it. The id!ot even said it was my idea in the first place to make a porno, but it wasn’t. Also, he and his father had one of the best defense attorneys lined up to represent them in case I pressed charges and went through with the lawsuit. And technically, Dean didn’t distribute the tape for money.”
She holds up her hands and makes air quotes. “It got leaked somehow.” She rubs her forehead and sighs. “But mostly, I just didn’t want to be in the spotlight anymore, Jackson. That tape ruined my life…I didn’t have the strength to stand up in court and have my every move scrutinized.”
We both stare at one another for a few moments. “So, what happened to your father?” I ask at the same time she asks, “Who’s Lilly?”
TO Be Continued
