Impregnate Me Or I Die Episode 3

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🧛 Impregnate Me Or I Die Episode Three: 💚

I was very optimistic and calculative. I saw my period last on the 16th of July, this is 2nd
September, I didn’t need any test to know I was pregnant with the changes in my body. I started acting drama for my husband. He gradually does everything in the house without complaining, “my dear just sleep and I will do everything for you”, that became Omeiza’s slogan. But he was bent on taking me to the hospital for a test.

After mounting pressure on me? I succ-mbed just for him to let me be. I took my birth that morning and got to the hospital early just to please my husband and clear his doubt about my condition. I
was number four on the queue waiting to be attended to. All the three women ahead of me came out of the laboratory with a smile and a white envelope in their hands.

An elder cleaner and a staff of the hospital positioned herself by the entrance to the hospital laboratory who will always smile at women coming out of the maternity laboratory with a congratulatory greetings. ‘Congratulations madam”, she repeated to the first three women who went in before me as they came out smiling.

It was my turn to go in, I had planned within me how I will change my steps when coming out with my white envelope. I love the old woman and I planned to hug her when she will be telling me “Congratulations madam”. All the three women who went in before me spent between fifteen to twenty minutes and they were out.

Forty minutes after I entered, the lab technician was yet to give me my result. I saw him going over the same process again and I knew something was wrong. Just a minute madam, he requested like three times. I became unnecessarily agitated and worried. Why is my own test taken so long? Has he discovered something else different from pregnancy in the test? What could be wrong? I thought of many things including being HIV positive. Even if I was HIV positive it must be from a different source and not s€×.

He finally handed over the envelope to me but mine was a brown envelope. All those who had come out before me were given white envelope, why is mine brown? I queried my mind. I was expecting him to say something but he handed over the envelope to me and continued his work as if I was no longer in the lab. I waited for about two minutes, expecting him to say something but he said nothing. Oga what is in the result? I asked him. He was not polite at all when he told me “madam the result is negative”. I quickly asked meaning what? As if I don’t understand what he meant.

‘Madam you are not pregnant’, he said carelessly. My whole body system changed immediately. Is this man sane?
Is he a professional at all? ‘How can you tell me I am not pregnant after missing my period for more than twenty days. I have been having unprotected s€× more than a month now. This can’t be true, ‘I will go elsewhere to redo this test.’ I replied angrily. As I was about carrying my handbag I remembered the old cleaner at the reception and how I will face her with my brown envelope. I quickly squeezed the envelope into my bag.

When I opened the door of the lab my legs were missing target as all other women seated turned at me with the old woman looking already pitiful.
I felt like entering the ground that day, nobody told me congratulations like other women who came in before me. I looked at the old woman and tears dropped down my cheeks. She held me and whispered to me, “God will do it”.

I quickly rushed out of the scene to avoid more pity from the waiting women. On my way to another clinic to prove the test
wrong I felt a wetness in my p-nt. I stylishly put in my hand, it was blood, my menses just came. I told the taxi driver I wanted to drop, madam you no dey go Felele again? He asked. No I’m not going again, I changed my mind. He dropped me and I gave him N200 without asking for my change. When I dropped I went to a nearby shop and cried my life out. What will I tell my husband who is waiting for the good news? How do I explain my behavioural change and dramas? I felt like committing suicide that moment. While I was lost in thought my phone rang, it was my husband. Hello sweet heart, how did it go, are you through in the hospital, have you done the test? What is the result of the test? I didn’t know which of his questions to answer. I will be home soon, I replied and ended the call.

Within ten minutes, series of questions and thoughts had overwhelmed me. Why and how can Sally who is a well known sinner be pregnant before her wedding and me who have been serving God faithfully to the best of my knowledge is made to go through this? I kept myself, Sally wasted herself yet Jacob’s blessing is given to Esau and Esau’s blessing
given to Jacob. What have I done wrong? What is my offence? What did Sally do right that I didn’t do?

I came home and met my husband in a happy mood. He had set the dining table ready in anticipation of the good news. It wasn’t closing time but he was already home, obviously to hear the news first hand. However, there was no good news to tell my husband. I looked at the joy and excitement in his face and felt very bad at that moment. I started imagining the treatment I would have received from my husband if I could just announce to him that “I am pregnant”.

Why did God turn my happiness to sadness? It was really heavy for me to inform him that I was not pregnant after all the drama. I handed over the envelope to him and rushed to the bathroom to fix my sanitary pad so as to avoid the flow from staining me.

He took the brown envelope and stared at it for a long time without altering a word. My husband is a man of faith and I know that. After some
minutes he joined me in the bedroom where I was sobbing, ‘why are you crying my sweet heart?’ He asked. ‘Why won’t I cry? When God seems to have forgotten me but choose to show kindness to a sinner. I may not be a perfect
Christian but I am a good one. Why will I keep myself for all these years and God will choose to pay me back in this painful way, I retorted as I sobbed bitterly. My husband was temporarily confused, he was short of words and I
understood as he tried to mutter some words but swallowed them again. He couldn’t withstand
my tears as some unsolicited tears dropped down his own cheeks uncontrollably.

He later summoned strength and courage and said, ‘sweetheart, it is too early to worry about
pregnancy. We are barely less than two months in marriage and you are already devastated because you didn’t conceive in the first month. You need to take it easy, if you didn’t achieve pregnancy this month, you can achieve it next month. Stop accusing God that way, that’s close to blaspheming. Stop crying and wipe away your
tears. I am your husband and we are in it together.’ He hugged me, cuddled me, k-ssed me, etc but all that made no meaning to me at that moment.

For three days, I lost my appetite. My husband tried to make me eat but I couldn’t. All the
times he forced me to, I threw it all up eventually.
He was so worried that he called my mom to inform her of all that has happened and my attitude towards the matter. My mom called me and cheered me up. She took her time to explain the ovulation process and how I should take
advantage of it next month. I thanked my mom and we ended the call. That gave me some small
relief and was able to eat some noodles. I made up my mind to yield to my mom’s advice and take full advantage of my ovulation time. I started calculating based on the way my mom
taught me.

From my calculations, my ovulation was supposed to be around 15th, by 12th I started giving my husband enough water melon and dates fruit to boost his performance for the
period. Even when I was having pains I didn’t let my husband know so as not to advice we should minimize the number of times we met together. I made him sleep with me twice before he left for work and when he came back from
work, we did it before his meal. At night, we could go as much as three to four rounds. I was
determined not to leave any stone unturned this time. At some point, he complained mildly, ‘sweetheart don’t you think we are having
too much of s€×?’ He asked. ‘What is too much s€× for a new couple who wants a child?’
I replied. ‘Don’t tell me you are already getting bored with s€× just after two months of marriage. If we don’t have s€× how do you
want me to be pregnant?’ He was pacified and apologized for complaining.

After a weeklong s€× romp with my husband I started having some pains around my lower
abdomen, the pains were hurting and sharp. I didn’t bother to tell my husband because I
don’t want him to tell me to go to the hospital. I endured the pain for two weeks thinking it will subside but it rather grew worse. On the 3rd of November I went to the nearby pharmacy to get pregnant test kits. I will carry
out the test myself before going to the hospital for confirmation. I was anxious it will be positive
this time. I did the test and I didn’t understand the result. I went back to the pharmacist the following day for him to explain to me how to interpret the result of the test. He did and asked
me to get another kit to re-conduct the test.

While I was going home that day I asked myself, “Maryam why the desperation? Why do you
want to kill yourself over pregnancy for a marriage that’s less than three months?” I
challenged myself in many ways but yet I was still worried. I threw away the new pregnancy test kit I just bought and went home trusting God. The pain in my abdomen became unbearable by the day. I spoke to my husband about it and of
course he said we will see the doctor tomorrow.

He didn’t seek for my consent the following day when he came back from work and told me to prepare for a visit to the hospital. ‘Sweet heart, I think I am better now and there will be no need
going to the hospital again,’ I told him. My husband took me by my hand and pulled me up and pointed towards the room, ‘go in there and
put on your clothes now,’ he said. I obeyed him and went in to change my clothes.

TO Be Continued…